When the Gain is not Worth the Loss
About one year ago, in the flurry of writing a check for YoungFUnd’s after school care, then refilling one of two prescriptions for my pup Henry, I caught myself thinking;
Things will be so much cheaper someday, when YoungFUnd graduates from childcare, and Henry doesn’t need medicine anymore.
YIKES. I try not to think too wistfully about the “somedays”. I have learned each day will disappear in front of me if I don’t give it the focus it deserves. I squashed the “someday” thought down, reminding myself that phases in life come and go, and I need to savor what is in front of me.
Besides, I am happy with the childcare my kid has, and my dog Henry has a better quality of life with the medicine. I take the responsibility that comes with the choices I make, and will pay for expenses as needed.
The problem, however, is that my wistful “someday” thoughts came true. Someday came much faster than I anticipated.
In Headline Reads: Kid Graduates, Mom Makes 44,000, I celebrated the growth and autonomy YoungFUnd was achieving, and financial benefit to my wallet. I remember, month after month, sighing at the expense of the childcare, yearning for the day when my kid was old enough to be on their own. Recently, we celebrated this graduation from childcare together as a rite of passage. Looking back, I realized I had wished away many days because of the expenses, at the cost of cherishing and savoring the young memories when they were still around.
I’ll have so much more money to invest once YoungFUnd doesn’t need childcare, and when Henry doesn’t need medicine.
Now both of these scenarios have come to light. This weekend, my little pup, the fluffy FUFIRE mascot, Henry, passed away. He lived a good life, about 14 years. This shelter dog had many mysteries, including whether they were a Maltese, West Highland, Gremlin, or a mix. The medications he depended on slowly accumulated over the years, to a monthly expense I never thought a sane person would spend. The hospital estimate we were given at the Vet Hospital at 11:00 pm this Friday was a whole other story.
Although I had the benefits of FU Funds available, they are not for just any scenario where expenses come up. We must decide, responsibly, when to use these FUnds.
Wealth should not enable blind decision making.
It could have been an easy way to handle that difficult evening. Just throw money at the problem, and move on (for a few days). But we resisted the temptation. That night at the Vet Hospital, my partner and I reviewed the estimate, and considered the quality of life and likelihood of any recovery for Henry. We consulted with specialists and weighed multiple outcomes. We were able to make the best decision based on quality of life, not on what we could or could not afford. In the end, we took our Henry home for his last night with us.
And now?
Now I have so much money to invest, since YoungFUnd doesn’t need childcare, and Henry doesn’t need medicine.
…and I also have an emptier house, quieter as YoungFUnd now spends more time with their friends in the neighborhood. Now I have a house where I can sneak out to the gym at 5:30 am without the dog’s tail smacking against the wall and waking up other people. I can even sleep in a little longer, since I don’t have to dedicate 15 minutes to prep his little doggy breakfast with hidden medicine inside.
I got my “someday.”
I don’t want it anymore.
