Treat Yo Self, but first Think fo Yo Self
It won’t be too hard to talk me into this indulgence!
The intention of this blog is to encourage you to make the most of your journey towards Financial Independence, using your strong financial standing as a way to live life on your own terms. Intertwined is learning the skill to balance between planning for the future, and making the most of the present. What’s one way to enhance this current phase that so many of us are in?
TREAT YO SELF!
If you’re not familiar with this phrase, please do yourself a favor and watch the Parks and Recreation episode “Pawnee Rangers” if you can.
I have grown to appreciate the overall premise of this idea: Buy something for yourself! Enjoy the day! Spoil yourself! You deserve it!
…And it’s true.
I got a little carried away when I first adopted this mindset. I hadn’t discovered Financial Independence at the time. Since I had dragged myself out of such a tight financial position, it felt like an out of body experience to pay for something that wasn’t a complete necessity. I used to think that a treat or indulgence was eating the leftover coagulated mac’n cheese off my kids’ plate. So it felt luxurious just to buy a coffee because I wanted it, not because I needed it. The process of buying something was its own treat, in a way. What a thrill. Look what I can do!
TREAT YO SELF!
It’s the perfect phrase to apply when something seems fun, or decadent, or convenient. So I bought the coffees on my way to work. I did the shopping with friends alongside me every week or two. There was always something I could add for the house, an upgrade from old furniture to something ‘more my style’. Overall, when I saw that people were “treating themselves”, this was the way they were doing it. I followed suit, and treated myself similarly.
Fast forward a little later, after discovering Financial Independence, I prioritized directing my money towards long term goals. I began looking at what habits I had created over the last few years in order to prioritize where to allocate my money. I took a long, hard look at where my habits had taken me, and what they were costing me.
In one week, I had applied the TREAT YO SELF! Campaign to the following purchases:
Yikes- $7.00 for a coffee and snack on almost a daily basis
Ouch- $65.43 for a Target trip I hadn’t planned
Crap- $98.65 for dinner and drinks with a friend
Uh-oh- $29.11 to get more holiday house decorations
These aren’t astronomical amounts. Here’s my problem with these purchases: I hadn’t particularly enjoyed any of them. I don't remember what I got at Target. I ate something at that dinner, but it wasn’t memorable, nor did I feel like going out that night was a special occasion.
You know what’s ridiculous? I don’t even drink caffeine! What the hell is a caffeine free person doing at a coffee shop on a daily basis if they don’t even need caffeine? I can’t use the excuse that I was addicted! I often found myself disgruntled at the long line, annoyed that the coffee wasn't exactly how I wanted it, and resentful that I had to make time in my daily routine for it.
What was I DOING?
The only way I could make sense of it is I had automated spending habits that didn’t bring any happiness or quality to my life. I was simply copying what others around me were doing in their own efforts to treat themselves.
Cutting out these expenses was painless, and I don’t miss any of these “treats”.
I could have just abandoned the Treat Yo Self idea. But since I’m busy, it’s easy to get stressed, lose perspective, and get out of balance. I believe a well qualified “treat” could benefit me. I am confident it could enhance the quality of life I have already improved so much. But how?
It was time to think for myself. I don’t really need, nor crave, any one thing. I wanted to find a way to have these little indulgences, but in a way that was meaningful to me.
I realized that instead of buying a tangible item, I could enhance what I already appreciated and wanted more quality of:
Time.
I get more comfort and quality happiness from sharing time with the people I love around me. Not the usual gethomefromworkandcraminhomeworkandtakeabath time. I mean spending an afternoon exploring a new hike with my kid and partner. Attacking a puzzle with some calming music in the background. Taking lunch to the beach and making a fort out of washed up bamboo sticks.
I feel especially recharged after some much needed quiet alone time. As a parent with a full time job, there’s always a list of nagging “to-do’s” that will fill up every moment that surfaces. I treat myself by putting these items on the back burner for the day, and instead do something inefficient like sitting in my backyard or watching a stand up comedian.
It’s certainly convenient that the Treat Yo Self “thing” I choose is cost free. Thinking a little more deeply about this, I realized there are ways to elevate the quality of my time even higher… particularly with the quiet time/alone time.
Can you go judgement free for a moment? Because there’s an embarrassing indulgence I am guilty of desiring.
I have always thought of it so frivolous, and so unnecessary, that I consider it the most heinous of all things since I have adopted a more frugal lifestyle. I timidly share it as my guilty pleasure:
It’s…. (shhhh)… Getting a massage.
Nothing can top a massage for me. There’s not enough decaf coffee in the world, not enough chocolate that I would trade for it. If I could afford it, I’d get one every day. I’d quit my job to make more time for it in my schedule. I want to clone myself so I can give myself a massage every day. In an effort to lead a balanced existence, however, I have settled for about one every three months, depending on time, money, and my perceived need for one.
I’d sooner prioritize massage funds over any other splurge or expense. If I go out to dinner, the back of my mind is thinking Hey! That’s like half a massage!
With my history of pinching every penny and planning every dollar, the idea of getting a massage reguarly has some guilt attached to it, at least for me. Even now, when the funds are plentiful, I have had to talk myself into this two or three times a year splurge.
When most experiences and items have an amount attached to them, each dollar saved is a “point” in this lifelong gamified competition towards Financial Independence I have with myself.
This exact line of thinking is the habit I am breaking, which is why my goal during this phase of my FIRE journey is:
Focus on creating a present day, balanced, experience-rich life with my family, and
Put less pressure on saving experiences or extra money for a future I’ve built up in my mind.
So no more timidness! I will proudly proclaim that my indulgence is to be a regular monthly massage. I’m going to take that $120 plus tip, and use it to work out every crack, crank, and clunk in my tense, anxious body. It’s something to look forward to, it’s extravagant, and my life already feels better just knowing that it’s in my plan book.
I know that it will add up, and could be “extra” money contributed towards plenty of other tasks. But I am already sending enough funds in that direction. Future me will already have a ball. It’s time to give current me a little perk. It’s okay to keep some for now, when the purpose is worth it. Besides, now that I’m not indulging in multiple little “treats” that don’t really improve anything, focusing on what has a benefit will likely break me even in the expense category.
I hope you make room in your plans to allow for these moments as well. By thinking about what makes sense for the individual, instead of what others do, we are able to finely tune our own journeys.
I’m wondering, when the FIRE community is full of so many unique individuals; What are some of the “out of the box” ways that others treat themselves?
