Good Cop, Frugal Cop
One thing I love about working in education is that my career is focused on relationships, support, and connection. This aligns with my personality and intentions, and feels like a natural fit. On the other side of the coin, however, is a weakness I have: An inexperience with sales, negotiations, and shallow “connections”. Playing this “game”, such as when buying a house, makes me feel like I am surrounded by others from another planet compared to what I’m used to.
Why can’t everyone be considerate? We can all just do what’s best for everyone. No? Oh.
Recently, I almost got swept away, down the slippery slope of high pressure sales. Thankfully, I was able to pull it together before it was too late. Here’s a little peep into my world, where I had momentarily lost sight of my own standing, but was able to collect myself just in time.
I had done my research, and was confident in the car, the trim, and the price that seemed fair. I even had a paper offer with me, which I was going to use as leverage at the next dealership. I had done the leg work on my own up until this point, and had decided to accept the generous offer of my partner’s support during the last stretch of this task.
Setting: A few months back, it’s around 5:30 pm. I am pulling up to a car dealership. I’m hungry, therefore cranky, and my brain is swirling from numbers, “what about’s…”, and a need for a nap. I’ve got my apple, string cheese, and almonds packed in my handy snack bag. It’s GO time.
“Let’s go!” I say to my partner, hoping to beat the deal in my hand, and drive off with a car moments later. I grab the offer and turn off the ignition of my rattling mom car.
“Wait. Don’t take that paper with you,” he says. What? This is the only way I can get a good deal! They won’t lower their price without it. I have learned my partner is a hell of a negotiator, and even keeled at all times. I trust him, and leave the paper behind.
“What is the number you want that will make you say yes to the deal today?” he asks, before we enter.
I think for a minute. I’ve been able to shave off dealer add ons, I’ve been able to negotiate a maintenance plan at a steep discount into the price, but I still haven’t thought it was a good enough deal when I look at the total.
“I’d be happy with $37,500”, I told him. “Which includes the taxes and other fees. But I’ve been doing this research for months. I’ve been looking at numbers all day. I’ve run out of ways to get the deal where I think it should be. Even with this offer I have on paper, competition will only go down a few bucks from what I have to show.”
“Ok, we will stick to 35, and they’ll eventually get to 39, and then we’ll meet at about 37.5”.
How the hell does he come up with this? He hasn’t bought a car in almost a decade! Sure, let’s just see what happens. And more importantly, did we pack enough snacks?
What was also happening, during the progress of the day, was I was getting worn down. I was giving up hope, and ready to call it a day. Or accept a deal that I wasn’t happy with.
I just wanted a damn car, and for the search to be over.
Thankfully, I had brought someone who knows how this game is played with me.
I turn to my partner; “If I get to a dead end in there, want to jump in and do your thing?” He gives me a little smile. “Sure,” he says.
Approximately 2 minutes after walking into the car dealership, we are at the dead end I predicted. $48,900 for a car with an MSRP of $36,500?
I was trying not to take it personally. I gave the teeniest of an eyebrow lift my partner, signaling for their support.
“We are ready to buy today. We need a better number.” my partner tells our salesman.
The salesperson tells us; “See here, $48,900 is the best we can do, unless you can show us you have another offer for us to beat”.
HA! I KNEW IT! My boyfriend thinks he can just walk into a dealership and ask for a great deal with no documented competition? C’mon! Didn’t he read 249 online articles like I did?
And with that, my boyfriend leans back, rests his hands behind his head, and says a resolute:
“Nah.”
Nah? Can we say that? Is that an actual negotiation tactic?
Turns out, yes.
My partner continues. “We are ready to buy now. We need a better number.”
One more back and forth later, and we are just as predicted: We push for 35, they push for 39.
Meanwhile, I’m trying not to laugh at the resolute stubbornness my partner is demonstrating during this process. In front of the salesperson, he turns to me, sipping the crappy, cold dealership coffee. He tosses an almond into his mouth and asks me,
“What number will make you happy?”
What number will make me happy? This is not about making me happy… I really want a car, and they have what I want! What makes THEM happy?
Ah hah!
This was when I realized just how much I had lost sight of the situation. They need a sale way more than I need a car. I had forgotten that I was the one who could walk away. I was the one they needed, not the other way around.
I was losing sight of these points, and handing my power to a salesperson.
What’s even funnier is I didn’t want to come off as a jerk to these strangers. Why was I so concerned about coming off as rude by not accepting their offer? They are not doing me a favor by selling me a car.
Inspired by my partner’s unmoving stand, I felt reenergized. We held to the number discussed in the car, as unreasonable as it felt to just keep saying no (or “Nah”) to anything else, all the while munching on our little snacks. To his great annoyance, it didn’t take long for the salesman to put together that we would stick to our number. From the time we walked into the dealership, to the time we agreed on a deal, it was 40 minutes at most.
So this story ends well, one with me driving off in a car that has 2 miles on it, at a price I felt confident was a worthwhile deal.
I had been saving money for a long time to prepare for a new car, and that made the decision far more important to me than if I hadn’t been working for it already.
Deciding to buy new, instead of used, took me months to wrap my head around. Isn’t it in the DNA of a frugal person to buy a used car, and maintain it themselves until it has 240,000 miles on it? There is a reasonable argument that it would be the right thing to do. This car was expensive, and has plenty of over the top comforts. In the past, I have picked the cheapest car, with reasonable reliability, whether I liked it or not. Whether or not it improved quality of life day to day. This time around, I found something that was the right decision for the features, hybrid technology, downsizing opportunity, and the reliability factor.
Although I was stubbornly planning on making it to the end of the purchase process on my own, I’m grateful someone joined me in this unknown world of sales. Having a person who can help with an objective point of view, and a degree of emotional separation, made this process a success story in my book.
Am I still enjoying my new car?
Yes.
Do I regret paying for something that has reduced my gas bill, provided a smooth ride, and is basically maintenance free?
