Part 4: Find a Purpose

What should I do with this extra money?

It’s funny how I didn't think of it as “extra money” at the time when I first had it. Towards the end of each month, I’d see I still had leftover cash, I’d go shopping and pick out a few things, whether for myself or a family member. Or when I was out with friends, I’d treat them and have some excuse as to why. I would get a “nicer” gift for some kid’s birthday party, which likely would have ended up in a pile of crap with all the other stuff one week later anyways. Without any new financial goals in place, my spending expanded to make room for every dollar that was available. I knew that money was for the mortgage, groceries, “needs’, etc, and then the leftover is supposed to be saved. But when there’s already enough savings, then you can spend the rest, right? 

At this point, it hadn’t occurred to me that saving for something like retirement was a productive way to save money. I had a pension, like everyone else I worked with, and we all were going to work until we were at least 65, right?

That’s what every single person I knew at work was planning. 

So I spent this extra cash.  What I had left over at the end of the month was going to be sweeped away in another bucket without a purpose, so why not treat myself? I deserved it! And my kid deserved the best of _______ (insert whatever thing was supposed to be important to buy for them here). 

I’d like to say that I only did this for a single month, and that I wised up and stopped burning money on ridiculous crap on day 31. I can’t say that- and couldn’t even total how much I wasted over the next year-ish with that kind of mentality. It may have been an aimless year, but it also set me up with a very important lesson; the desire to want more will not go away when you get more. I was on the treadmill of acquiring nicer things to feel like I was “keeping up”, only to look around after spending time and energy getting them, then seeing I was in a similar place: feeling the same, just looking at the next nicer thing. 

And then.

As I mentioned in My Story, I stumbled across Mr. Money Mustache and all of these questions bouncing around in my head got answered. I read through the basics of the “Getting Rich: From Zero To Hero in One Blog Post” article. Champagne fell from the skies, the sun shone through the clouds… you get the picture. INFORMATION. Not a sales pitch. A Purpose. It all made sense. An end goal that I never heard of; early retirement? 

Do you remember the moment you heard about the FIRE movement? As soon as I started digging, I unearthed rabbit holes of information in podcasts, books, and blogs. For the next 6 months, I absorbed everything I could about early retirement. 

What am I going to do with this money?

I finally had an answer. I didn’t need to spend money now just because I had it. I could “spend” it on my future. When there is a reason to save, and there’s a goal that can be something as incredible as NOT WORK, it becomes an easy shift to make. 

I researched for months how to apply my resources in an effective way based on what options were available to me. I created a rough outline of my early retirement plan, but it wasn’t set in stone. At first I was very rigid about my savings and spending, but I loosened up a little bit over time. I didn’t want to plan myself into a corner and lose opportunities that came my way. I talked about that kind of opportunity in My Story. 

Shifting the mentality from “this has to be my job for 25 MORE years” to “I think I’ll stay here for maybe about 10 more years, but let’s see after that” is a huge change. What a relief! I felt like I had autonomy in my own life; I wasn’t trapped, my superiors didn’t hold my life in their hands. I could make money plenty of other ways if I didn’t maintain my current job for whatever reason life threw my way. I started feeling like I came across a huge secret at work, and no one knew about it-

We don’t have to do this forever, you guys! We can just spend less, invest more, and get the hell out of here before we are in our sixties! 

The discovery of financial independence- and the autonomy over our own lives- this is the ultimate understanding that leads to FUFIRE phase. It’s not JUST a specific number invested that makes you feel comfortable to call your own shots, nor is it JUST being far enough along on the path to wealth that you can feel safe to take a chance. It’s knowing you have the autonomy to live life on your own terms, and to have a say in the direction your life goes. 

For so long, many of us have had to trudge through years of being overwhelmed, overworked, overstressed, with everything over complicated. I had on blinders for so long, it took talking with some dear friends and getting some great advice to realize how unnecessary some of my standard routines, habits, and thought patterns were.

I had patterns of thinking from my Survival Mode days that I didn’t need anymore; I had to change my thinking to unlearn these fears.

If you have the opportunity to work out some kinks in your habits in order to benefit your day to day life, what is stopping you? At one point before I learned how to take hold for the direction in my own life, I caught myself thinking, “If I can just get through the next 10 years, THEN I’ll retire and everything will finally be better.” Yikes.

If you find yourself counting down entire stages of your life, it’s time to interrupt your status quo and look at what can be improved. 

Finding a purpose for your earnings, which allow you to live life on your own terms, is the meat and potatoes to finding peace during this long phase of the FIRE journey. Options are freedom for those who have earned their way into this stage; it is a luxury, a privilege to be here and know where you stand. 

I am confident there are plenty of people who have the financial standing for this freedom already, but they are clinging so tightly to a plan, or clinging so tightly to a shiny object, they can’t let go of these to open up their eyes and be willing to feel and act as free as they already can be.

So here I am, just a mom with a kid who is growing so fast I realized the other day I was wearing their socks. I am keeping it simple by focusing my energy on savoring the stage I am in, so I can be present for my family, work, and appreciate how I am patiently building up to my end goal.

All along this road, I know, in the back of my head, I can exercise my right to make a decision on my own terms no matter what any boss, lawyer, or new opportunity comes my way.

I am not financially independent yet; you may not be either. Many of the benefits of this independence are already with us, though. Hopefully you have a lifestyle that has vented the pressure of crushing financial stress by making money decisions that make sense for your goals, and your habits are getting you closer each time you make a decision. And if you don’t yet? Well, what are you waiting for?